Some people put up a peace sign with one hand. Some people put up the middle finger instead. I use two hands and put up both.
Technology forced me to divorce a pixie and remarry a pixel.
Chuck Norris doesn't need to understand the work of James Joyce; James Joyce needs to understand the work of Chuck Norris.
Get tough: don't work under pressure; work over pressure.
True friends: only a few have 'em, but only a few will admit that they don't.
A government full of Democrats would rather have you be a Republican, and a government full of Republicans would rather have you be a Democrat, than have you oppose both.
I watch what I eat every day. I mean, who actually eats with their eyes closed?
Don't hate me 'cause I'm booed a fool!
I write my own quotes. Except this one. I obviously stole this from somebody really clever.
Love becomes logically true when lost but still sought from the same source.
The only way to get under me is to get over yourself.
What's love if not the thing you'll do anything and everything to get back once lost? What's hate if not the thing you'll do anything and everything to get rid of once found?
He has your finger, but I have your heart.
As much as it hurts, I would rather miss someone than hit someone.
Comedy is only as stupid as you are smart.
Dear disgruntled artists: the key to success isn't kicking down the door; it's building your own.
Don't hate the word, playa; hate the dictionary.
I imagine the life of an atheistic praying mantis to be rather torturous.
I'll take a redrum with a rellik please.
Individuality or Unity? I say there's room for both.
