Big Daddy Quotes

[at McDonald's]
Sonny: Okay, what do you want?
Julian: Cheerios.
Sonny: Cheerios? They don't got Cheerios. What else?
Julian: Lasagna.
Sonny: Lasagna? What the hell is the matter with you? Um, we'll take hot cakes and sausage...
Employee: Sorry, sir, we

stopped serving breakfast.
Sonny: What are you talking about? We're FOUR seconds late.
Employee: No, you're 30 minutes and four seconds late. We stopped serving breakfast at 10:30.
Sonny: Aw, HORSESHIT!

Homeless Guy: Sonny was real nice to the kid. Wish my father was like him. My father was a military man. Guess I wasn't such a good soldier. Anyways, when I was 35, he tried to give me a crew cut while I was asleep. I woke up, broke his arm, haven't seen him since. I'd rather live in a dumpster then under his freaky ass rules! (Notices a McDonald's bag in Sonny's hand) Anyways, I

think Sonny Koufax should be acquitted of all the charges. If O.J. can get away with murder, why can't Sonny have his kid? (points at a black man) This guy knows what I'm talking about! No more questions!

Tommy: How long have you delivered food to Mr. Koufax?
Nazo: I deliver food for six years. Plus, I'm stripper. But I've gained weight so that's a problem.
Tommy: I see. And, in your experience, was Sonny a good father to Julian?
Nazo: Oh, yes. They make terrific pair. They went together like lamb and tuna

fish.
Tommy: Lamb and tuna fish?
Nazo: Maybe you like spaghetti and meatball? You more comfortable with that analogy?
Homeless Guy: Yes, considering we're in America. I mean, if you don't like spaghetti and meatballs, why don't you get the hell out?
Nazo: Listen, I'll come down there and give you a crew

cut, Mister.
Homeless Guy: Let's see your clippers.
Nazo: Not my problem your father was sick.
Homeless Guy: That - well - -Stop yelling at me! AAAhhhhhhhh!

Sonny: [Julian is bouncing up and down in front of the TV on a rubber ball] Hey.
Julian: Hey!
Sonny: You like hockey?
Julian: You like hockey?
Sonny: This is a big, important game.
Julian: This is a big, important game!
Sonny: Cut the

crap.
Julian: Cut the crap!
Sonny: I'm being serious, don't do that.
Julian: I;m being serious, don't do that!
Sonny: [quickly] How much wood would a wood chuck chuck, if a wood chuck could chuck wood?
Julian: [stops bouncing]
Sonny: That's what I thought.

Shut up.
[Julian resumes bouncing in front of the TV]

Julian: But after my nap I always watch the Kangaroo Song.
Sonny: It's overtime right now and there's a penalty shot about to take place. This happens about once every ten years so...
Julian: Kangaroo song, kangaroo song, kangaroo song, KANGAROO SONG!
Sonny: ALLLRRIIIGGGHTT! God you were normal yesterday!

Sonny: I'm going through a rough patch in my life right now. Syracuse is 0 and 3. I got those medical problems.
Vanessa: Medical problems? A cab runs over your foot 2 years ago, you spend one night in the hospital.
Sonny: First of all that cab was huge. And a jury decided that one night of pain was worth two hundred thousand dollars,

so there ya go.