Marcus Burnett: [while Reggie stands at the front door of the house] You a virgin?
Reggie: Yes, sir.
Marcus Burnett: Good. Keep it that way. Ain't gonna be no fucking tonight.
Mike Lowery: You ever made love to a man?
Reggie: No.
Mike Lowery: You want to?
Marcus Burnett: [while Reggie stands at the front door of the house] Have my daughter back by 10:01. If she's not back by 10:01 I'm in the car, locked, loaded and hunting your motherfucking ass down.
Mike Lowery: And I'ma be with him.
[pulls gun]
Mike Lowery: You know what it gonna be if I'm there, gonna be Chitty Chitty Bang
Bang nigga.
Mike Lowery: [pretending to be drunk] Nigga, who is it at the door?
Marcus Burnett: [while Reggie stands at the front door of the house] It's Reggie!
Mike Lowery: Who the fuck is Reggie?
Marcus Burnett: Came to take Megan out.
Mike Lowery: [to Reggie] What you want, nigga?
Reggie: I'm here... to take his daughter out.
Mike Lowery: Motherfucker, I heard the boy say your name Reggie? You wanna be takin' Megan out?
Reggie: Yes, sire?
Mike Lowery: How old is you?
Reggie: Fifteen.
Mike Lowery: Shit, nigga. You at least thirty.
Marcus Burnett: [while being videotaped by a connection to all the televisions in the store, all the customers in the electronic store can see them] My ass stills hurts from what you did to it the other night.
Mike Lowery: Hey, it got rough. We got caught up in the moment, shit got crazy. You know how I get.
Marcus Burnett: When you
popped me from behind I think you damaged some nerves.
Mike Lowery: [while standing next to each other in front of Captain Howard's door at night, pointing a flashlight at Marcus' eyes] What are you on? Look at your pupils.
Marcus Burnett: Look at my pupils? How the hell am I gonna look at my pupils?
[tries to cross his eyes]
Capt. Howard: [after the morgue car chase] I can't believe you guys. Do you get up in the morning, call each other up - "Good morning, Marcus." "Good morning, Mike." "How you doin'?" "Ai'ight." "So, how are we going to fuck up the captain's life today?" "Gee, I don't know, I don't know... Ooh, look! Over there. Let's kill three fat people and leave them on the street?"
Mike Lowery: They were dead before we ran over them.
Capt. Howard: It doesn't matter if they were dead or not, goddamn it! Every time you leave a corpse on the street, I have to get these detective guys to come in and see what happened. See? They're detecting shit. Then I've gotta get these forensic coroner guys to stick 'em back in the fucking bag! Jesus
Christ!
Mike Lowery: [while walking slowly among the landmines in sand at the entrance to Guantanamo Bay] Now *that's* how you supposed to shoot! From now on, that's how you shoot! Oh man, I want my next partner to shoot like that. WOOOOO... it takes a dysfunctional motherfucker to bust somebody in the head like that. That's some dysfunctional shit! My next partner's gonna invite me to
his barbeques and shit, though.
Mike Lowery: [to Marcus, during car chase against Tapia's men] You know, Dan Marino should definitely buy this car. Well, not this one, 'cause I'm gonna fuck this one up. But he should definitely get one like it.