Rocket Raccoon: You speak Groot?
Thor: Yes, they taught it on Asgard. It was an elective.
[the Guardians bring Thor aboard]
Peter Quill: How the hell is this dude still alive?
Drax: He is not a dude. You're a dude. This... this is a man. A handsome, muscular man.
Peter Quill: I'm muscular.
Rocket Raccoon: Who are you kidding, Quill? You're one sandwich away from fat.
Peter
Quill: Yeah, right.
Drax: It's true. You have put on weight.
Peter Quill: What?
[Drax gestures at his chin and gut]
Peter Quill: Gamora, do you think I'm...
Mantis: [sensing Thor] He is anxious, angry, he feels tremendous loss and guilt.
Drax: It's like a pirate
had a baby with an angel.
Peter Quill: Wow. This is a real wake-up call for me. Okay, I'm gonna get a Bowflex. I'm gonna commit. I'm gonna get some dumbbells.
Rocket Raccoon: You know you can't eat dumbbells, right?
Gamora: [touching Thor's arms] It's like his muscles are made of Chitauri metal fibers.
Peter
Quill: Stop massaging his muscles.
Dr. Stephen Strange: We gotta turn this ship around.
Tony Stark: Yeah, now he wants to run. Great plan.
Dr. Stephen Strange: No, I want to protect the stone.
Tony Stark: And I want you to thank me. Now, go ahead. I'm listening.
Dr. Stephen Strange: For what? Nearly blasting me into
space?
Tony Stark: Who just saved your magical ass? Me.
Dr. Stephen Strange: I seriously don't know how you fit your head into that helmet.
Tony Stark: Admit it, you should've ducked out when I told you to. I tried to bench you. You refused.
Dr. Stephen Strange: Unlike everyone else in your life, I
don't work for you.
Tony Stark: And due to that fact, we're now in a flying doughnut billions of miles from Earth with no backup.
Peter Parker: I'm backup.
Tony Stark: No, you're a stowaway. The adults are talking.
Dr. Stephen Strange: I'm sorry, I'm confused as to the relationship here. What is he,
your ward?
Peter Parker: No. I'm Peter, by the way.
Dr. Stephen Strange: Doctor Strange.
Peter Parker: Oh, you're using made-up names. Um... I'm Spider-Man, then.
Thanos: [from trailer, facing off against the Avengers] Fun isn't something one considers when balancing the universe. But this...
[chuckles]
Thanos: ... does put a smile on my face.
Tony Stark: [Bruce is struggling to Hulk out] Dude, you're embarrassing me in front of the wizards.
[Banner is trying to Hulk out while fighting Obsidion in the Hulkbuster armor]
Bruce Banner: Hulk. Hulk, I know you like making your entrance at the last second, well, this is it, man. This is the last *last* second. Hulk! Hulk! HULK!
Hulk: NOOOO!
Bruce Banner: Oh, screw you, you big green asshole! I'll do it myself!
[from trailer]
Nick Fury: There was an idea...
Tony Stark: To bring together, a group of remarkable people...
Vision: To see if we could become something more...
Thor: So when they needed us, we could fight the battles...
Natasha Romanoff: That they never could.
Thor: There are six stones out there. Thanos already has the Power Stone because he stole it last week when he decimated Xandar. He stole the Space Stone from me when he destroyed my ship and slaughtered half my people. The Time and Mind Stones are safe on Earth, they're with the Avengers.
Peter Quill: The Avengers?
Thor: The Earth's
mightiest heroes.
Mantis: Like Kevin Bacon?
Thor: He may be on the team. I don't know, I haven't been there in a while.