We should invade their countries, kill their leaders and convert them to Christianity. We weren't punctilious about locating and punishing only Hitler and his top officers. We carpet-bombed German cities; we killed civilians. That's war. And this is war.
It would be a much better country if women did not vote. That is simply a fact. In fact, in every presidential election since 1950 - except Goldwater in '64 - the Republican would have won, if only the men had voted.
Swing voters are more appropriately known as the 'idiot voters' because they have no set of philosophical principles. By the age of fourteen, you're either a Conservative or a Liberal if you have an IQ above a toaster.
Whether they are defending the Soviet Union or bleating for Saddam Hussein, liberals are always against America. They are either traitors or idiots, and on the matter of America's self-preservation, the difference is irrelevant.
Political debate with liberals is basically impossible in America today because liberals are calling names while conservatives are trying to make arguments.
Liberals become indignant when you question their patriotism, but simultaneously work overtime to give terrorists a cushion for the next attack and laugh at dumb Americans who love their country and hate the enemy.
It's always good, when it comes to immigration, to always be paranoid. You can never be too paranoid.
There are lots of bad Republicans, there are no good Democrats.
I might be in favor of national healthcare if it required all Democrats to get their heads examined.
If only we could get Muslims to boycott all airlines, we could dispense with airport security altogether.
God gave us the earth. We have dominion over the plants, the animals, the trees.
As the leader of twelve apostles, even Jesus had more executive experience than Obama.
Why do we let blind people and people in wheelchairs become citizens? I feel sorry for cripples, but that doesn't mean I want them in my country.
Liberal soccer moms are precisely as likely to receive anthrax in the mail as to develop a capacity for linear thinking.
The first time I heard 'Sharknado,' I thought it was a late-night infomercial for a new vacuum cleaner. Could have swore I ordered one once. Then I found out what it was and remembered that I grew up reading the 'Sharknado' novels.
The New York Times editorial page is like a Ouija board that has only three answers, no matter what the question. The answers are: higher taxes, more restrictions on political speech and stricter gun control.
I used to dread going on 'Politically Incorrect' with 'up and coming' comedians. But at least on 'Politically Incorrect', there would be just one has-been or wannabe on the panel.
My only regret with Timothy McVeigh is he did not go to the 'New York Times' Building.
If we took away women's right to vote, we'd never have to worry about another Democrat president.
Democrats couldn't care less if people in Indiana hate them. But if Europeans curl their lips, liberals can't look at themselves in the mirror.
