You are graduating from college. That means that this is the first day of the last day of your life. No, that's wrong. This is the last day of the first day of school. Nope, that's worse. This is a day.
It's interesting: when your wife is pregnant and you're expecting, everyone's like, 'It's incredible. Get ready. It's magic. It's the most life-changing experience you'll ever have. Brace yourself for heaven.' And then the second the baby comes, everyone's like, 'Welcome to hell! Ha ha ha! You fool!'
It's weird to have people so interested in your personal life. It's a part of the business that grosses me out. I'm always bummed out for people who just happen to be dating a celebrity, and they're also famous, and they can't live their life.
I'm a tearless clown. If I were to get a tattoo, it would be the two masks, and they would be both smiling.
When you're a comedian, and you show up on set to a job where you're not writing, and you get handed material that's as good as we do on 'Brooklyn Nine-Nine,' you just feel lucky every day.
I used to stay up at night and sneak into the TV room, past my parents, who were asleep, to watch Saturday Night's 'Main Event.' That's how I started watching SNL. On accident.
If had a penny for every strange look I've gotten from strangers on the street I'd have about 10 to 15 dollars, which is a lot when you're dealing with pennies.
It's harder to do anything in the public eye now, in terms of if you're worried about scrutiny or being judged negatively. It's not as much of a free ride. If you're someone who's making film or TV or music, or any kind of art form now, there's a billion outlets, and they all have an opinion.
I was doing jokey rap stuff in high school. But it was never serious. It was always, like, 'It'd be cool to do this as a form of comedy.'
No matter how much it's growing, the Internet still is a pretty specific demographic. It doesn't necessarily represent the general populace.
Since there have been men and women, there have been funny women.
I think I was the only person in my experimental film class doing comedy. But my sense of humor and a lot of comedy that I love is quite surreal and strange, you know? You could argue that 'Monty Python' is experimental film. It just happens to be really funny.
I'm from Berkeley, so I don't really aspire to a lot of glitzy stuff. But things like having a home that I'm comfortable in or leasing a car that I'm comfortable in, basic everyday kind of stuff, I will splurge for that.
That is a strange phenomenon, people pretending to be other people.
I didn't realize how much people liked to bash SNL until I was on. I've always just liked it, and I've always watched it and been into it.
I've always felt that if something is polarizing, that's usually the stuff I like the most. If something is taking a chance and is willing to be weird, that's my favorite thing. I know there's somebody out there who hates it.
I don't think a baby is something that you should do because other people are doing it.
As is known, I work with my friends quite a bit. It's just more fun.
A sign now of success with a certain audience when you do a short comedy piece, anywhere, is that it gets on YouTube and gets around. It's always something you're thinking about unconsciously.
Class Day is a terrible name for a day when you don't have to go to any class.
