Politics: A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.
Erudition - dust shaken out of a book into an empty skull.
Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining profit without individual responsibility.
Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.
Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
History is an account, mostly false, of events, mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers, mostly knaves, and soldiers, mostly fools.
Logic: The art of thinking and reasoning in strict accordance with the limitations and incapacities of the human misunderstanding.
All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusions is called a philosopher.
Who never doubted, never half believed. Where doubt is, there truth is - it is her shadow.
Marriage, n: the state or condition of a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two.
Religion. A daughter of Hope and Fear, explaining to Ignorance the nature of the Unknowable.
The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.
Politeness, n: The most acceptable hypocrisy.
Death is not the end. There remains the litigation over the estate.
Philosophy: A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.
Photograph: a picture painted by the sun without instruction in art.
Perseverance - a lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.
The small part of ignorance that we arrange and classify we give the name of knowledge.
Destiny: A tyrant's authority for crime and a fool's excuse for failure.
Patience, n. A minor form of dispair, disguised as a virtue.
