Americans have different ways of saying things. They say 'elevator', we say 'lift'... they say 'President', we say 'stupid psychopathic git.
People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs.
Dire Straits is a great band. Someone tells you they like 'Brothers in Arms' and immediately you know they're a stupid annoying git.
Honestly, sometimes I get really fed up of my subconscious - it's like it's got a mind of its own.
I exist as an annexe of the BBC. I'm down the road a bit from the main building, in a little hut.
But as in all cults, what's central to the Communist Party is the belief system and the elimination of nuance. From there you're very slowly led down the road to fanaticism and mass murder.
I have a lot of nice Italian winter clothes that make me look like a sophisticated Lebanese professor, so my friend Robert and I go around pretending to be experts in Arabic politics. It doesn't work in the summer though. I don't have the right clothes.
I think that my ideas of the world are that it's random and cruel but kind of quite comical really, and therefore the humour, in a sense, springs from that.
I am quite girly.
I liked 35 and in both my novels that is the age of the lead characters. I tried making them my age but they just seemed to keep moaning about stuff.
If sitcoms were easy to write, there'd be a lot of good ones, and there aren't.
I wanted to write about how people's beliefs shift.
I've been going to Granada for many years and 12 years ago bought a house a few miles outside the city.
I suppose the common idea of me is that I'm going to be someone who's hyper and cracking jokes all the time, but people who meet me are soon disabused of that notion.
People used to think I was just a shouty comic but I was doing stuff about Sartre.
As a comic, you try something and if it works you go with it and grind it to death.
Most of my friends are women - I quite fancied being a woman in a way.
If I won the lottery I'd start a charity that helped little family hardware stores, cobblers and fruit shops open in city centres.
Despite its flaws, Marxism still seems to explain the material world better than anything else.
I'm distinct, really.
