Howard: Crazy is building your ark after the flood has already come.
Emmett: Could have been the Russians, aliens, maybe the South Koreans...
Michelle: You mean North Koreans?
Emmett: Is that the crazy one? Then yeah.
Howard: [deformed, sing-songy] Michelle...!
[begins stabbing at Michelle through the air vents]
Howard: [pleading] Don't leave me! You don't know what's out there!
Howard: NO! NO! No, no! No! Don't open that door! You're going to get all of us killed!
Howard: Have a drink.
Michelle: What is it?
Howard: ...Technically, it's vodka... it's safe, I distilled it myself.
[Michelle tries some and then makes a disgusted face]
Howard: I just said I distilled it, I didn't say anything about it actually tasting good.
Howard: People are strange creatures. You can't always convince them that safety is in their best interest.
Howard: I'm sorry, but no one's looking for you.
Howard: One chance to answer with some dignity or I swear you're going into this barrel while you're still alive to feel the pain!
Howard: I know that this isn't the life that you prefer, and that it's been hard for you to come down here... but I really want us to be a happy family, you and me. The mess is all taken care of... so, I'll go get dinner started.
Howard: ...I accept your apology.
[Howard suddenly whips out a handgun and shoots Emmet in the head, killing him instantly and spraying blood and gore across the wall. Michelle silently screams, fearful and grief-stricken at the loss of her friend. Howard hugs her and tells her that it was for the best]
Howard: [talking about his 50-gallon drum of bubbling chemical acid] It's used as rocket fuel on the launch pads in Seattle... HIGHLY corrosive.
[Emmet and Michelle exchange horrified glances, knowing what Howard intends to do with the acid]
Howard: I saved your life, you know! I couldn't just leave you there.
Howard: My goal in life was to be prepared - and I WAS.
Emmett: It's the end of the world and he's upset about a dead pig.
Emmett: Y.O.L.O... I don't even know what that means, but everybody says it, so it's gotta be cool, right?
[Michelle laughs, and Howard looks disgusted and annoyed]
Howard: [voice distorted with pain] You can't run from them! STAY WITH ME!
Michelle: [to Howard, about using the toilet] I... I can't go with you standing right here!
Howard: Look, I'm not some pervert! Just go!... Don't flush until you've gone. Flushing wastes water.
Michelle: [holds up one of Howard's daughter's outdated girly magazines] Look, look at this! We could use this.
Emmett: [incredulous] What, the 'ten new ways to style your bangs'?
Howard: [angrily] You think I don't know what's goin' on around here?
